Leading with Faith & Forging Your Truth Rob Fenstermaker

In this conversation with Rob Fenstermaker, we dive into what it truly means to lead with heart and conviction. We explore how Rob’s Warrior Forge empowers men to reawaken their inner drive, embrace authenticity, and build intentional lives rooted in truth. Rob shares how faith and community have shaped his leadership journey and how journaling, gratitude, and daily reflection guide his personal growth. Together, we unpack lessons about decision-making, resilience, and the freedom that comes when we learn to let go of the past. This episode invites us all to slow down, reconnect with our purpose, and lead with courage in both life and business.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:03

So, welcome back to the 30 Second Success podcast, where clarity, courage, and connection come to life through the decisions that define us. I'm your host, Laura Templeton, and today we're diving into the bold, messy, and meaningful moments that help us move forward in business and in life. So let's jump in. I'm here today with Rob Fenster Maker, founder of the Warrior Leadership Protocol at the Warrior Forge. Welcome, Rob. Thank you so much for being here. How about giving us your 30-second message, my friend?

SPEAKER_00 0:33

Well, thank you, Lori. I would love to do that. What I do is I empower men to start pursuing the life they want and stop settling for the life they need. Because when they do so, they become better husbands, better fathers, more impactful leaders, and become the man that they want to be.

SPEAKER_01 0:49

I love that. I love it. I love it. I love it. So what's something people are surprised to learn about you?

SPEAKER_00 0:57

Oh wow, that's a that's a loaded question there. Something that people are surprised to learn about me. Um, you know, as a man, I I come to understand that we don't always have all the answers. And you know, I've had the opportunity to lead, and I definitely don't have the answers. And I've never been that type of leader that thinks like I have all the answers. I don't want no, I uh because I want to empower people around me. Um when I don't have the answers, I'll go to my team. That's why they're there, they're there to to support one another. Uh, and I embrace that that idea of servant leadership. So um I I may seem confident, but in inside, you know, there's a little bit, there's always that little voice. And I think we all have that little voice, regardless of where you're at, what position you're at. If you're leading, that little voice is always there. And sometimes uh we got to be careful to not let that voice take control of us.

SPEAKER_01 1:53

I love that. I love that. And I think one of the things that, you know, I I love about that is we all struggle, right? It's we all struggle with that thing, you know, that little voice that that's always challenging us. A lot of people say it's there to keep us safe. And I and I truly believe that, you know, in some respects. Um, and a lot of times it's just old junk that's you know been stored in our minds that we need to be able to recognize just as that, that we can then release and go, you know what, for today I'm gonna try something different, right? So thank you for sharing that vulnerability. You know, it it really makes it makes a difference. And I think that's one of the things that I love about the work that you do. So share a little bit about the Warrior Forge and where that came from. What really inspired you to jump into something so unique and different and powerful?

SPEAKER_00 2:49

Yeah, well, it's it kind of goes back. I mean, I've had the opportunity to lead and be a part of men's groups for over 25 years. And there's something different when you bring men together, uh, the just the conversations that we can have, you know, not the superficial. Yeah, we can have the superficial conversations, but the most uh meaning I've ever got with other men is when we have those deep conversations. And because as men, we we have to have that veneer of that we're always strong, that we're always on. We're uh you know, and sometimes as men, you know what, we just got to have somebody that we can be a little vulnerable with. And um not that the conversations that we have with our wives that we're trying to hide something from them, no, but uh I think that the the conversations we can have with other men when we support each other and we we've got each other's back is we can share, we can share, you know, what it is that concerns us, we can share uh where we're at in life and we can get those deep introspections. Some of the greatest wisdom I've ever gotten were from other other men that were we were able to be vulnerable with one another. Uh when when I first you know kind of stepped into this space um in my faith walk, I was new in the faith, and it was men who reached out to me and just kind of you know gave me ideas of and and and messages of what it really meant to be that man. And I have always remembered those conversations, those men have always had a special place in in my life, and I appreciate uh what they've done for me. And so for me, it's my opportunity to do that. I mean, I'm at this stage of my life where I want to you know pay it forward to those who come behind me. I I want to leave this world in a better place than when I got here. In order to do that, I have to raise up men to be those leaders. And what those men that I raise up can be those leaders in their community and their families and their places of business. And they do it with intention. And that's that to me is uh my opportunity to leave my mark, leave my legacy in this world, is by giving a piece of myself to somebody else so they can take that and run with it.

SPEAKER_01 4:54

I love that. Giving a piece of yourself to others, and I think that you know, that really espouses what it really means to be in that leadership role, right? We are we are giving our we're sharing our wisdom, we're sharing our hearts, we're sharing the the impact that we want to have so that our role in this world carries on. And I think you mentioned, you know, faith and how that plays into it, into your conversations with your client, you know, with your clients, with the people in your in your men's groups, you know, and I find that very similar in a lot of the women's groups that I belong to. It's so funny because in a quick story, I was running a women's uh networking group, and one of the women who was very uncomfortable, very first time there, brought a man to the group. And I don't know if you've ever experienced this in a men's group. When there's a man in the room, I noticed that a lot of the women would check themselves, look at him before they would answer the questions when we were doing our topical conversation. So I love the fact that you're bringing men together in the same way that I've experienced women being together, where we're a lot more open with one another when it's women who understand each other. They don't feel as vulnerable being in front of a group of you know men and women together. So very interesting that you've had that experience from the opposite side of the aisle, right? So yeah, because I've been I've led a lot of women's groups from the from the different perspective. And you're right, way more vulnerable, way more open and honest and and willing to share, which I think is beautiful. So um what so have you ever been in a situation where you had to make a fact decision that felt scary, but ended up being exactly what you needed?

SPEAKER_00 6:44

That's a good question. You know, as uh being married, my wife and I will be together 35 years in South. And you know, we we've we've had those opportunities uh we've raising two children, but you've got to make those snap decisions involving you know some of your dear children. And yeah, I you know, they both my children went through uh life-altering experiences. One was when uh they were young, and the other one was when they were older. Um, and it's in those life-altering experiences that you've got to decide, you know, what am I gonna do here? And you've just got to you you've got to go with with what you know is best, and you you can't be afraid to make that decision. You got you got to make the choice, and as leaders, you know, we have to make that choice, and you've got to understand that every choice we make is gonna have a consequence, there's gonna be a consequence attached to it. And when you get in the the habit of being a leader and just continuing to make choices, you start to understand what those consequences are. And when you start making uh better choices, the consequences become better. So you you learn through repetition, you know, what choices to make. And uh to get back to you know to your question, um, you know, I I can think of both of those incidences with with the with with my two children. Um one was life-threatening, one wasn't, but it was still a very critical situation. Um, and you you have to do what's right for everybody involved. You just you you you've got to uh assess you know the information you have at hand. Um, you know, I was a former army officer, and um as an officer, the expectation is you got you've got to make the decision, you've got to make the choice of what we're gonna do. So you you try and gather all the information possible, and you have to learn to just kind of think on your feet and and make that choice. And that's what builds confidence not only in you, but it builds confidence in those that you're leading when they see that um, yeah, we're gonna do this, we're we're going forward. And here's the thing about once you make a choice, you you've got to decide. And to me, uh, I understand that the uh the word decide, there's the suffix, C I D E. That means put to death. So that any kind of word that has C I D E that needs to put to death. So once you've decided something, you put all other options to death and you're moving forward. You got to go all in with it. You can um kind of go in it timidly. If you're that's what direction you're gonna go, you're gonna go go go all in. If it's wrong, hey, you learn from it because I I absolutely believe that failure can be our greatest learning tool. And um, you've got to exercise uh that option and just see what happens. And if you fail, you know, it's not the end of the world. Learn from it and can keep moving forward.

SPEAKER_01 9:32

I love that. Learning from our choices, right? And I think that's the biggest thing, learning from learning from what happens when when we do make the decision. And you know, I I love what you said about continuing to make those decisions, right or wrong, you know, you it's the choices, and we learn from them. And then the next time we have to make it the decision, it gets like, okay, remember what happened. One of the things that I find and and I and I find very interesting is, and I would love for you to talk about this a little bit, is where the Warrior Forge name came from. Where what tell me the significance of that name? Because it's a pretty intentional name. And you know me, I'm very, very interested in the intentional naming of a business. So tell me a little bit of the background around that the name of your company.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Yeah, I mean, I think as men, we have that all we have that warrior spirit within us. And too many men have just kind of let that fire of that warrior kind of go down to embers. And it's time to reignite it. To me, I I, you know, we we talked about faith, and there's some great examples of warriors in the Bible. To me, there's no greater warrior than Jesus. I mean, he stood on principle, he stood on his foundation, um, and he he knew what he was about. But the the one warrior in the Bible that I love more than anyone is a man called El Gazar. He's one of uh David's mighty men. And uh, if you know about him, there's there's a passage uh uh about him where he uh was fighting the Philistines and he took the front and he fought slew the Philistines while grasping his sword, and he took down 600 Philistines that day by himself, and he grasped that sword so hard that his hand froze to the sword. Um, you know, in the Bible, the sword is recognized as truth, and as men, we got to grasp our truth, we have to grasp our truth. So, back in the day of Eleazar, if you decided you want to take somebody a prisoner on the battlefield, first thing you do, you have to chop off their thumbs. Why would you have to chop off their thumbs? Because once you chopped off their thumbs, they could no longer grasp that sword. And the the world, there's there's an attack on men. We got to be honest, there is an attack on men in this world. Uh and the world wants to chop off our the thumbs of men so that we can't grasp our truths. And our enemy, you know, I'll just say, you know, the the enemy of the faith. He's fine with us, you know, understanding you know what the Bible says, but he wants to grasp off our or wants to remove our thumbs we can no longer grasp that truth. So that's where the idea of warrior came. And the idea of forge, when you're in a forge, you're you're you're going through the fire. You're you're going through the fire when we when you shape metal and you got to forge it. How do you forge it? You put it in the fire and you pound it. You pound it and you shape it, and you pound it and you shape it. You put it back in the fire, you pound it and shape it. So that's what the the idea of the warrior forge is about.

SPEAKER_01 12:26

Oh that. I love that. And I love the significance of it. It it makes so much sense. And you're absolutely right. We are all being forged by fire. And you know, the the uh um, you know, the story about you know that you know, just coming against the enemy and standing tall, you know, is it is biblically based. So I love that that you've brought that into the name of your company. So quick reminder if you're enjoying this episode, please take a moment to like, follow, and subscribe to podcast. Your sport happens to reach more people with stories strategies that inspire real connection. So Rob, what's a challenge you've overcome that most people don't see from the outside?

SPEAKER_00 13:12

You know, it really kind of got me uh into this space. The challenge that I had um was that I was just a man going through the motions of life. I was just going through the motions. You know, I did everything that the world would tell you you got to do. You know, go to college, get a job, buy a house, get married, have a family. I did all those things. And as a man, I just felt a little empty. I I just uh felt that I was just uh accepting, you know, what I needed in life. And that's what the world tells you you need. Okay, so I did. I but there was just something missing in me. There was something missing, and and a lot of that for me, what was missing was relationship with other men. I mean, we get busy in life, you know, we we get into you know, if as a newly married man with children, uh you you get uh you get busy with life, and you just kind of miss those connections. And I just started to realize that you know that something felt empty there. Um, so reaching out to other men was was the one thing that uh just kind of opened some doors for me. It opened doors for me in the sense that uh I think it I absolutely believe it helped me save my marriage. I absolutely believe it helped me become um a better man, a better father to my children. Am I perfect? Absolutely not. Am I a perfect husband? Of course not. My wife will tell you that that I'm far from perfect. But I do the best I can. I do the best I can with what I have. And I I each and every day is an opportunity for me to strive more, to learn more. That's how I enter each day. What can I learn today? What can I learn today? What can I learn new today? And every day gives you that opportunity. And the thing that I love about each day is there's never going to be another March 26, 2026. This is it. This is your only opportunity for this day. So what are you going to do in this day? And you know, what one thing that uh I really had to come to grips with is I hung on too strongly to my past. I hung on to it too strongly, you know, there was regret with that, things that I had uh not completed, not done. And so and if you you sit with regret too long, it can lead to shame. And I wasn't to that shame point yet, but I was definitely in that regret space. And I I just hadn't let go of my past, it's over. I I can't change it, can't change our past. Let it go. And I also learned, you know, don't be anxious about tomorrow because there's there's what there's no guarantee you're getting a tomorrow. So why worry about something that that's not has not happened yet? And the other thing I really came to terms with at one point is I started to realize 99 of the stuff that I would worry about about tomorrow never came to fruition. So it's it's just ridiculous. So so live for the day, live for what you can learn from today, and you can always learn something. You can either read something, listen to something, have a conversation with somebody. There's always an opportunity to learn something new. And uh, yeah, I've gotten in the habit of what have I at the end of the day, just writing down what I learned today. It could be something simple, it could be something profound, but what did I learn today?

SPEAKER_01 16:19

I love that. So you keep a journal with what I what have I what did I learn today?

SPEAKER_00 16:24

Yeah, I do journal. Uh, I've I have journaled for over 25 years, and I have saved every one of those journals. Um, you know, my wife has asked me, I keep them on the bookshelf. She's asked, can we get rid of these? I'm like, nope, we're not touching those. You just leave there. And you know, and I I like pulling off the the shelf every now and then because I always date, you know, wherever I write something in, I always put the date. And it's always interesting to me to see where I was at on that day, what I was thinking about that day, uh, what I was going through that day. And it gives you an idea of where your growth has happened, where you were and where you are now. And um, if anybody out there is not journalist, I would encourage you to start. Just do it. Uh, do I do it every day? No, but I'm pretty diligent at it. And I go through different phases of it. Like right now, I'm in this phase wherever, and I'll do this periodically. I just want to write I am statements. I would just spend my more open up my journal in the morning and just write IM statements, just write as many as I can. And how I challenge myself is not to write the same I am statement that I wrote, you know, the few days before, just write the ones new. And if you do that for 30 days, you go back and you look at all these IM statements, and it tells you something about who you are. Um, and the other thing, you know, gratitude journals, just write, you know, gratitudes each, you know, write three gratitudes every day and three different gratitudes, and at the end of a month, you'll have 90 great things you're grateful for. And if you it can be something simple, it can be something simple, it doesn't need to be profound. It could be, hey, I'm grateful for looking at this bird and by bird feeder right now.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

You're grateful for it because it gives you that feeling of gratitude that this is a this is cool.

SPEAKER_01 18:06

Yeah, you know, and I think sometimes some people overthink what a journal should be like, and you know, everybody's journal is different, and some people just need to start, right? And I think that's where just getting started eventually it starts to expand and flow. Um, it's you know, even in the writing process, that was something that I had to learn was that just when you write, you know, at first it's just gonna feel messy, and and then all of a sudden the flow starts to happen and you find your rhythm. And I think that's what happens with a gratitude journal. You start to go deeper and deeper as you experience, you know, writing. You start, and I think the biggest thing about a gratitude journal, which has happened for me, is that I stop throughout the day and go, Oh, yeah, I'll have to make sure I remember that and put it in my journal tonight, right? You would encourage things throughout the day.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

And I would encourage people if they haven't started it, don't do it digitally, just pick up a piece of paper and a pen. Yes. Um, yeah, we live in this digital world, uh, but you know, sometimes you just got to go old school. And there's just a there's a different energy in when you have a pencil or a pen in your hand and you're writing it on a piece of paper or in a in a journal. And and my handwriting is horrible. Sometimes I'll go back and I I can myself can be real chicken scratch because I start getting thoughts and I start writing back. And I'll go back and like, what wait, what what is this word here? I do my I do my best to I do my best to decipher it.

SPEAKER_01 19:33

Um so what's something you've had to unlearn in order to grow?

SPEAKER_00 19:43

Hmm, unlearn in order to grow.

SPEAKER_01 19:46

I know that's a that's it, that's one of those questions that's like, hmm, what what is it? And it may not necessarily be an unlearning, it may be something that transitions, right?

SPEAKER_00 19:55

There's that you know, I talked about I talked about letting go of my past, and I had to unlearn that just because something happened in the past, that's not who I am. That's not who I am. That may have been that that moment that of when I had this thing happen in the past. Okay, in that moment, that may have defined what that moment looks like, but that's not me. And I was uh hanging on to that stuff and where I was creating an identity around. Um, and I I what I've had to learn is that I'm a reader, I love to read, but our life is a story, and any great story has different chapters, and those different chapters uh kind of form the entire story. So just because something happened uh in chapter three, that doesn't mean that the whole book is related to chapter three. That's just part of the story. It can become a four or five, six and moving forward. So what what what you know I had to unlearn is yes, those things happened in the past, learn from learn what you can from them and move forward. Don't hang on to them.

SPEAKER_01 21:06

I love that. I love that. And I and I love that you brought it back to what you had already shared and gone go went a little bit deeper this time. So thank you for that. So if today's conversation got you thinking about your brand, your message, or how you're showing up in the world, come check out the brand success hub. It's my on-demand resource center packed with tools, trainings, and templates to help you get clear, consistent, and confident in your brand. And yes, Rob has agreed to share a 10-minute teacher with us on the topic of living the championship life. So definitely come check that out. Just head on over to 30secondsuccess.com and click on the hub, and I'll see you on the inside. So, what advice would you give someone facing a moment of indecision?

SPEAKER_00 21:55

Don't sit in a tool. You you you you you have the information you need. Excuse me, I know this engineer, sorry about that. You have the information that you need to make that choice. Just go with it. Just go with it. Um and you know, indecision just leads to uh stagnation. So take that step. If it's wrong, adjust. But we we've got to get out of uh being uh stuck in and uh neutral and start moving forward. And so yeah, um don't let that decision hold, don't let that indecision hold you back. And you know, I think that when you start making as a leader, uh, and we're all leaders in some way, we're all leaders, you can say it, but in some way, if nothing else, we're leading ourselves. In order to lead yourself, you've got to understand the direction you want to go. Um, so keep that folks. One of the things that I've I've recently done, someone encouraged me to do this, and it's a great exercise. And you know, I know for women it's vision boards, for me, it was a vivid vision. I wrote it out, and um, I know I know a lot of women they create vision boards, but I I literally wrote it out, and I wrote it out. Okay, I wrote it out. So, and how I did it was three years from today, and I was very intentional about what I was experiencing, what I was doing, what had just happened. So I was writing it in the present tense, but three years from today, and I I will go back and reread that, and it keeps me focused on okay, if you want to do this, you need to keep moving forward because I had some big aspirations in that big aspirations. Um, and so when I first wrote this, the first time I read it, it scared me. I was like, but I so I I think when um to kind of get back to the question of indecision, if it scares you, good. There's a reason it scares you because you know you've got to do something, just make the decision, make the choice, and um let that happen, see what happens.

SPEAKER_01 23:55

Love that, love that great advice, great advice, just you know, make the decision, make the choice. You know, you'll learn from it. Whether it's the right one or the wrong one, you're still gonna learn from it. But I love that you shared about the the three years visioning. Um, one of the things that I learned years ago, and I actually do it with my mastermind group, is you know, we talk about future casting, right? What do you envision for your business? And then we do, I have my clients do a plate, it's called playbook, and it's where do you see yourself in 10 years? And then where do you see yourself in five years? And then where do you see yourself a year from now in order to get to that 10 year mark, right? So we start to plan out what are the steps we need to take to get to that 10-year mark. And everybody that I've taken through that playbook has, and just like you're experiencing, have that when they then when they look at it and from the perspective of where they want to be in 10 years, they it changes how they approach their business, it changes how they approach conversations because now they know what they they what direction they want to go in. It it creates the path for you to move forward in. And I love that you are doing that from the three-year perspective and that you go back and look at it. That's the that's the key. Go back and look at it, go back and look at it, right?

SPEAKER_00 25:12

Yeah, yeah, and yeah, go back and look at it. And I'm also yeah, my my next step is I'm just gonna record it. And when I go for a walk, just listen to it, just keep listening to it because you know, you yeah, you you re you listen to those kind of things, it starts to imprint in your brain, you know, this neuroplasticity. We we change the rewiring on our brain. Um, and it's a thing when you really start to focus, and you know, people call manifestation, whatever. Um yeah, you know, the woo-woo word is manifestation, and you know, I'll use the word manifestation, but I'm telling you, it works because when you start to change that rewiring in your brain, all bets are off at that point. You know you have it in you, and and really 95% when you have a business, it it's that six-inch space between your ears. That's where the battlefield is is in each and every day. And you got to be ready to engage it, and um, things like that, you know, just being clear, but the stuff you put into your into that space is going to make all the difference. I I've learned to just cut out the noise, cut out the chaos. You know, there's a there's a lot of crap going on in the world right now, and the old Rob would have just paid attention to that. I would have gotten all anxious and nervous about everything that's going, you know, 10,000 miles away. But I just start to understand. I look in my front yard. Is that war going on in my front yard? No. Why am I worrying about it? It's not impacting me. It's not impacting me personally. Um so I say, yeah, I just look around, you know. I I've learned to be the CEO of my cell. And then this is kind of the attitude I adopted when I was in corporate. Just be the CEO of your cell. And you know, that area where my my office and my desk was, that was my that was my domain. So everything within that area I was in charge of. Right now, I'm the CEO of my business. So everything in that I'm in charge of. So just keep your focus into that and don't let the noise of the world. You know what the best things I've done? I quit watching news years ago. I just quit watching it. Yeah. And I I just it to me, that was such a freeing thing. Such a freeing thing.

SPEAKER_01 27:15

Yeah. I love it. I love it. Thank you so much for sharing that with us. And I and I love what you're saying about this whole idea of focusing on what's in front of you, right? Focusing on the here, the now, present, what you can affect, you know, and that's that's the biggest thing. What can you what do you have control of? Not necessarily control of, but what can you affect? What can you rush?

SPEAKER_00 27:41

You know, you know, what do you do with influence on we we do have control over our attitude, we do have control over how we're going to engage with the situation that is within our control. And if you're you're gonna fly off the handle, if you're just going to be in chaos, then you've lost control, right? Um, this is and I absolutely believe it. Yeah, and I I embrace the idea of getting uncomfortable, just be uncomfortable because that's where true that's where true growth happens. You got to get let yourself be uncomfortable. Um, that's where you really start to understand what it is you can do. And I I I say this jokingly, but it's true. We just want to be comfortable all the time. That only leads to one thing in me. This leads to you just sitting on your couch all night, binge watch binge watching Netflix with a Costco size bag of chips.

SPEAKER_01 28:29

I love it. So, Rob, what's the best way for people to connect with you or go deeper into your work?

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Yeah, just connect with me. Uh, I'm on LinkedIn, I'm all over social media. You can find me on LinkedIn, uh, Rob Fence to Maker. You can find me on Substack as well. I'm very active on Substack and LinkedIn. Uh, just reach out to me. You'll find me all over social media. I do have a Google page. I've had a lot of people reach out to me there. Um, so this is the best way. Uh in the virtual world, we live in this virtual world right now. You know, one of my passions right now is as somebody who grew up analog. What responsibility do we owe this generation that's only grown up digitally? And that's something I'm very passionate about. And um, yeah, I think about the the that the analog life I grew up in and just uh how things were different. We were allowed to be bored back then. We don't want our kids to be bored today. We're allowed to be bored, and we were when we were bored as when we were bored as kids, that's when we did amazing things. Yeah, sometimes we got in trouble, but we did amazing things, we figured things out, we created things, and we need to let people be bored again so they can start getting that creative edge back.

SPEAKER_01 29:36

I love that. Thank you so much for that final thought. I totally appreciate you being here with us, Rob. It's been wonderful catching up with you again. Um, I and I am I'm truly blessed by you being here with us today. So thank you so much.

SPEAKER_00 29:51

Thank you, Robin. Thank you so much for this opportunity.

SPEAKER_01 29:54

Oh, so good to have you here. So thank you so much for joining us on the 30 Second Success Podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe so you don't miss next week's inspiring conversation. Until then, touch your voice. And remember, success is just 30 seconds away.